This article is inspired by a few friends of my partner. Two of them died in different circumstances few months after thinking of them. Not in a negative way, but simply thought about them and wondering how they were. One of my partner’s friends tried to reach out to him on Facebook but about few weeks or few months later killed himself. Forgot now the details, but it felt horrible just thinking about the circumstances that led to his action. Another friend, who happened to work at my partner’s parents’ business years ago, was the victim of a hit and run, and the car just drove away without even stopping to see if he was okay. He died either on the scene or on the way to the hospital. My partner also thought about him for a while and was actually yearning to catch up with him because his friend’s wife came from the same home country as me.
In my case, a friend and former work colleague wanted us to go have a great night out with his other friends. But at the last minute I bailed out because of a reason that now seemed unimportant, and he got so upset that he didn’t smile at me or communicated for a while. I apologized to him a few times but initially didn’t accept it. After about a few weeks, I learned that he got really sick and needed time off work for a few months. I mentioned in one of my text messages how I regretted bailing out on him at the last minute and the fact he paid for my ticket that I was really so sorry. He did say it’s now okay. Now after few months, he hasn’t recovered and so didn’t go back to work anymore.
I have another friend from a church I used to attend whom I saw at a public event. Was wondering how I was and also when I can come back because they missed me. To be honest, I missed them too. I just couldn’t tell her I was too sensitive to the negative energies surrounding some people that I had to stay away for a while. But I got complacent and never came back for months. I know that people may say I just needed to avoid being near these people with negative energies but sometimes in public settings you can’t avoid that, no matter how much I try to shield myself emotionally.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness of everyday life that we could just easily ignore thoughts like these. Sometimes when I see groups of people gathering around during outdoor movie screenings or simply when walking down the street, I admire how they still manage to catch up. It now made me realize how precious every moment of life really is. How some that we perceive as problems at first glance later on turn out to be very insignificant, even inconsequential. It also made me want to smile or say “Hi” to my neighbors every time I see them.
I have a female pen friend whom I’ve communicated since high school who’s still reaching out to me after all these years. Even though I had been on and off from writing letters to her simply because I’m so used to typing on my computer. But because of what happened to my partner’s friends, it made me want to be consistent in sending letters. Maybe mostly being a sympathetic ear. I can remember the times I felt lost and lonely, and how great friends can really help you get through. I treasure great and sometimes deep conversations with like-minded people much more than talking about other people and latest fashions. I’m much more fascinated by life experiences and exploring myself in new ways because I always yearn to improve myself, even when my stubbornness sometimes wants to kick in and rule the roost.
I also had recent conversations with another friend from work and my partner’s Mum about how when someone passed on that it’s actually meant for them to go. At first I didn’t wanna accept it because it seems so cruel to think that some of us are meant to have that. But maybe that’s one of the reasons why we need to do the things we love the most, tell the people that matter we love them, and do the best we can every day because however we leave this world, you will leave knowing you’ve done what you’re supposed to do here on Earth.
It’s really hard to think of friends who have either passed on or got sick and we didn’t get a chance to see them. Much worse if we have thought of them. I’m not scaring anyone by saying that something bad might happen to your friends once you think of them. But the big takeaway from this is that as soon as we think about someone, we need to text, email, or call them and ask how they are, what they’ve been up to since the last time we communicated. Even if they only respond when you initiate, just let them know that you care. Schedule for tea time, lunch, or dinner, whichever is most convenient for both of you. At some point, whether we like it or not, we will crave for connection with friends and it’s important to keep in touch with those who bring light, energy, and love into our lives. That way, there will be one less lonely person in the world, and us reaching out to them may help change their lives for the better.